For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
