4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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