just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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