he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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