Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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