Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize