so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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