this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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