So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
