what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
