I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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