What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
we're making bets on your personal life
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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