I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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