Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
