Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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