You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
barbara walters just said penis...
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Randomize
