so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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