he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
