By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
