TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
