I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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