So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize