I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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