If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
