so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize