Duck Duck Cougar?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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