in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
