Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
