did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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