Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
