got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
