Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
