I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
