So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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