I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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