I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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