watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
it was like having sex with a tree stump
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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