I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
