is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize