apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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