Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
