I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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