this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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