Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
