I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
