it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
