Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
