Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
