I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
They have beer where we have blood.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
