She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
