tell your sister to shave her snatch
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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