Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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