i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
