What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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