Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
