Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
