she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
