ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize