you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I need to calm my uterus...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
