im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
