How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
